Mikaela and Matt’s Schenectady, NY engagement session in the Stockade was off the charts gorgeous. From the peaches, pinks and blues in the early part of their session in the park beside the Mohawk to the navy and white beside the ivy and brick of the old buildings, I just love the way their outfit choices complemented the settings. Plus, who doesn’t adore a great pair of teal heals?
Mikaela and Matt are high school sweethearts. I know, swoon…! They met when they were just tiny little kiddos and years later, when neither of them had anyone in mind they wanted to take to prom, they decided to go together as friends. Talks in the halls and late night texts to plan out the details made them realize that their hearts beat just a little faster when the other’s name was mentioned. And by the time prom rolled around, they walked in arm and arm as a couple.
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As the three of us strolled the sidewalks of the Stockade on a quiet evening last week shooting these images, a woman approached and we stepped aside to let her pass. As she did, she paused to congratulate Mikaela and Matt on their engagement. They thanked her and as she walked away, she called back “Be good to one another.” Her tone was so sweet and yet so matter of fact. So certain. Goosebumps spread across my arms and up the back of my neck.
“Be good to one another.”
She said it as if that’s all it takes to have a happy, loving marriage. As if just being good to one another is the key to happiness.
And she is right…
If you’re good to one another, you are respectful. If you’re good to one another, you’re kind. If you’re good to one another, you’re compassionate, and loyal, and loving; you celebrate each other’s successes and reach out to steady each other when one stumbles. You understand when the other has a crappy day and is totally under it and just needs to be alone for a few minutes to find their head. You deliver ice cold drinks on hot days when the yard work has you sweating and covered in dust. You get up to soothe the crying baby or let out the dog that’s whinining at the door even if you were the one who got up the last two times. You don’t hold grudges. You look for each other in crowded spaces and smile big, a smile that says ‘you belong to me’. You embrace each other’s families no matter how picture perfect or crazy as heck they may be. You create space and time for one another to do the things they enjoy, the things that allow them to connect with themselves when life feels like too much – whether that is sitting on a dock beside the water reading a book, or going out to a pub with friends. You take the reins when hard times hit. You turn on the music and dance in the kitchen and choke down happy tears as you reminisce about all the moments that brought you to this very one. Your toes find each other’s feet under the covers on the days your eyes didn’t have time to meet each other’s gaze. You understand.
And you ask. You ask: “Are you okay?” and “How was your day?” and “Do you want seconds” and “Do you mind if I…?” and you ask with genuine interest and you take each answer into great consideration. And you never stop asking, never stop getting to know one another, never stop hearing the other person’s heart. Because being good to one another really is all it takes.
